Dear X,

All I want to do/feel like doing is be with you, have you holding me and be loved. I miss you; I'm infinite miles from you but you're here with me now. Procrastination is just longing to be with you. Laziness is just wanting you to hold me.. and unhappiness of reality if happiness with you. Even if no one's listening, you're always listening as if I said every word out loud. In reality, I hear your voice loud and clear echoing in my mind as if you're next to me. Sometimes, I get the feeling as if I'm in the wrong place or body. Maybe I've tricked my brain into thinking I'm someone else. It's screwing with my emotions but I really don't care about myself. I care about you.
But sometimes, it's not enough to just hear you in the depths of my mind. I want to see you. 

i miss him.

Posted by TwistedFantasies | Posted in | Posted on 5:02 PM

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There are times where I long for the time period of bad times in which I've suffered through. When I look back then, my daydreams are most colorful and vivid. It was June 2008 where I specifically remember creating my dreams and crafting Boy X. It's been four years and I never go one day without looking back at that time. I never had to try for him to be there. 
I keep a journal in which I have "letters" I've written to Boy X. In the next blog entry, I'll post one.