3 shoes

Posted by TwistedFantasies | Posted in | Posted on 8:19 AM


I haven't been daydreaming as much about my usual world lately.
  My usual dreams about this guy I like in real life but I'm too shy to say anything to him. :/ I daydream we're at the park, pool or somewhere and it's perfect. I don't know if this could make it easier to talk to him if I daydream I'm talking to him.. I usually try not to daydream about real people 'cuz I think it leads to a distorted view of reality.

I've never realized how much daydreaming has made real life so absent in color. It's like I lay down and daydream for a couple hours and come back to my real life then look around  the room at the pale wallpaper and bare floor.. it's like what the hell is this? I should be ashamed of myself running from the real world which people call "beautiful" I don't see how beautiful it is right now, but I used to.

I had a dream the other night I was carrying 3 shoes. According to dream dictionary, dreammoods.com,
In general, shoes represent your approach to life. Wearing shoes in your dream, suggests that you are well-grounded or down to earth. If you are changing your shoes, then it refers to your changing roles. You are taking a new approach to life.

Three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, creativity, energy, self-exploration and experience.

 Maybe this dream means I'm supposed to use creativity & imagination to walk through life.. I don't know what this means.
I want to go on a daydream binge today but I have things to do.. If I supress the daydreaming, it only makes it harder to cope with real life. 
I've started listening to different music and I really like this one song:
Within Temptation - Our solemn hour


Daydream shopping.

Posted by TwistedFantasies | Posted in | Posted on 6:10 PM


What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Was one of a kind,
A precious pearl

When I wanted to cry

I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed

Gomenasai for everything

Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought wasn't all

So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain

When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself

Tatu - Gomenasai (sorry in japanese)

aghh, I love this song soo much.
i've been trying to fight this addiction soo much.. I can't just zone out anymore.. i've got things to do, it's crunch time. I really need to talk to someone about this but no one ever wants to listen.. except for my characters of course, but I can't tell them.. :/
My mom never wants to hear about it, she says it scares her. Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better. :3

I saw a poll on the maladaptive daydreaming forum:

Do you think maladaptive daydreaming could make you gay, bi, lez or develop gender identity issues over time if you daydream you're the opposite sex?

I thought this was an interesting question. In my daydreams, half the time I'm a guy (Boy X) and Mel is my girlfriend or vice versa. I alternate between characters. It makes the storyline & dialogue richer. Of course I'm still attracted to Boy X but when I see someone in real life who looks a bit like Mel, I feel this weird attraction. *sigh* I've never really thought about it that much.
I even have a desire for guys clothes. When me & my mom go to the department store, I LOVELOVELOVE to look in the guys section for clothes for Boy X.. I call it daydream shopping. && I don't just do this with clothes, If I see someone I like in a magazine, I'll cut them out and develop their personality & characteristics as if they were real. 
My mom just doesn't understand & of course I'd never tell her about this problem. ;/
Whatever I can't tell people in real life, I'll tell my characters..
Well atleast I'm going out tomorrow. I might get to go daydream shopping again, woot.