Make it or break it.

Posted by TwistedFantasies | Posted in | Posted on 12:12 AM

2

After one year on Paxil (antidepressant), I've found it suppressed my daydreaming tremendously. Now that I've stopped taking it, I realize how much it actually diminished them. Without daydreaming as much, I started to feel empty.. and without my daydreams, I'm nothing more than everyone else. And I don't want to be like everyone else. No one else has a world inside their head they can escape to and make up stories when they can't handle real life. What do they do? Is that the people who drink and do drugs?

I don't want to start taking the medication again;  I don't want to lose my daydreams anymore and become like "everyone else." However, I need it because I have social anxiety disorder and so far, this is the only medication that's actually helped. I made so much progress last year and to throw it all away for daydreaming seems silly but I don't know what to do.
After a month of no medication, the MD has been coming back steadily building itself back up little by little, brick by brick inside my head building it's own fortress. Even before, I didn't have that much of a desire to daydream but now it's as if I need to make up for lost time.

 I believe daydreaming on a scale like we do takes a tremendous amount of brain power and I'm thinking so much faster than I did before. How is it that we're so careful to not forget the aspects of our daydreams and make up a character's dialogue so fast? If only I could take my MD brain power and put it towards school, haha.