I spent a lot of time with my real life family and I couldn't even really be there.. that's a shame. I feel guilty about md.. but then I can't help it. *sigh* 

I have a rollercoaster of emotions. I fancy this guy in real life, but Melanie has a boyfriend. I don't want to say his name, so we'll call him Boy X I don't want a love triangle with my mind.. agh.  & mel's boyfriend is just a celebrity I got from a magazine.. but I changed some features on his face so he's mine now.     
    I just can't stand to see this guy. He's going to be in a bunch of upcoming movies and I don't know what I'm gonna do.. I try to avoid his fansites, things like usa today magazines.. but I don't know if that's enough. It's soo weird how you can have emotional attatchments & things to someone who's not real.


Boy X has been bothering me all day. Well, not really bothering but holding me in his arms and such. I don't know if I would take the real guy I fancy over Boy X.. but then, again, he is real.
I hate dealing with all this daydreaming.. It's soo draining.
I got the sims 3 for christmas and I think I'll have fun making my characters into sims.;S

The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” — Alan Alda

I'm feeling sad and lonely without daydreaming right now. I've been trying to come down from my daydreaming high for some time to get something productive done. I can't focus enough to study for finals which are tomorrow. I feel sad that I can't hold myself down in reality long enough to get anything accomplished. It's so frustrating.

I've been on a 2 day daydreaming binge since Friday night and I feel sick now. I'm hurting myself with each day that goes by with this haphazard addiction. I've got a lot accomplished fictional-wise. 

My fictional  character's name is Melanie. All day, everyday, I'm playing melanie melanie melanie. It's all just a big play and I never miss my lines. I can't wait until I see the day where I come out of my costume.

I ask myself what happened to my life. What happened to me? Where's Anne?

I've been looking at pictures on the internet of a celebrity which is supposed to be Mel's boyfriend. I can't stand to look at this guy's face.. I don't want to see anything about him. When I do, a rush of excitement compels me to look at more then it fades into nothing more than what/who this person is supposed to be in my own world or mind.. then I remember they aren't real. 

It really doesn't help that I put new music on my ipod that I enjoy. When I listen to music, I like to make up my own custom music video in my head to go along with it.