Daydream shopping.

Posted by TwistedFantasies | Posted in | Posted on 6:10 PM

What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Was one of a kind,
A precious pearl

When I wanted to cry

I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed

Gomenasai for everything

Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought wasn't all

So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain
 

When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself

Tatu - Gomenasai (sorry in japanese)

aghh, I love this song soo much.
i've been trying to fight this addiction soo much.. I can't just zone out anymore.. i've got things to do, it's crunch time. I really need to talk to someone about this but no one ever wants to listen.. except for my characters of course, but I can't tell them.. :/
My mom never wants to hear about it, she says it scares her. Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better. :3

I saw a poll on the maladaptive daydreaming forum:

Do you think maladaptive daydreaming could make you gay, bi, lez or develop gender identity issues over time if you daydream you're the opposite sex?

I thought this was an interesting question. In my daydreams, half the time I'm a guy (Boy X) and Mel is my girlfriend or vice versa. I alternate between characters. It makes the storyline & dialogue richer. Of course I'm still attracted to Boy X but when I see someone in real life who looks a bit like Mel, I feel this weird attraction. *sigh* I've never really thought about it that much.
I even have a desire for guys clothes. When me & my mom go to the department store, I LOVELOVELOVE to look in the guys section for clothes for Boy X.. I call it daydream shopping. && I don't just do this with clothes, If I see someone I like in a magazine, I'll cut them out and develop their personality & characteristics as if they were real. 
My mom just doesn't understand & of course I'd never tell her about this problem. ;/
Whatever I can't tell people in real life, I'll tell my characters..
Well atleast I'm going out tomorrow. I might get to go daydream shopping again, woot.





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